Over the winter break I read “Teach Like your Hair’s on Fire”, by Rafe Esquith. This is an inspiring book written by an amazing teacher who teachers 5th grade in a high poverty school. He expects nothing but the best from his students, and in the end this is what his students give to him and to their own education. He is engaging, creative, and passionate. Reading this book made me feel inspired but also filled me with self doubt. “I’m not sure I am going to be that type of teacher. Does this mean that I am not committed enough to my students and the profession of teaching?”
I have been thinking a lot recently about finding a balance. Though I think it is important to give your best to teaching and your students, I am someone who also feels that teaching cannot be your entire life. I have a hard time saying this out loud other than in one-on-one conversations with trusted friends. If I say this out loud to my cohort and my professors, will they judge me? Will they think I am not cut out to be a teacher? In our program we are given huge ideals when it comes to teaching. It is easy to believe that to be a great teacher we need to be willing to sacrifice everything for our students. We need to be willing to make teaching the number one priority in our lives. This is not something I am willing to do.
This does not mean that I don’t want to be a great teacher. This does not mean that I will not go above and beyond for my students, but I also think that you can be a great teacher and find a balance. I think that you can be a great teacher while also maintaining a life of your own. I have a family and this is the top priority in my life.
I feel guilty for these beliefs at times. It is not that I think my beliefs are wrong, I just think that sometimes I am expected to believe something different. I feel like I am expected to be the type of teacher Rafe Esquith is who takes on projects that he himself acknowledges take thousands of hours. Knowing that I am not the type of people who is going to take on that huge task, I begin to doubt myself.
What a HUGE relief it was then when I began reading “A Sustainable Start: A Realistic Look at the First Year of Teaching”, and the author talked about having your own identiy as a teacher. It was as if the author was speaking directly me when he said, “I give myself persomission that no one else would give me: the permission to be myself, to teach with my style in my voice based on my convictions. I can’t be Rick Wormelli, Rafe Esquieth or Ron Clark. …I’ll allow myseld to be myself, because ultimately that’s what students need- a teacher with a thirst for learning and a heart for wisedom.”
Becoming a teacher can be overwhelming. The is so much work to do and so many hours involved in order to not just do your job, but do your job well. As much as I like to have my head in the clouds and dream of all the possibilities, I also need to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. I remind myself that there are many great teachers out there who are passionate for teaching but also maintain a life and a family outside of school. I just have to trust in my ability to find balance and a way that works for me. I don’t have to be a teacher life Rafe Esquith to be an excellent teacher. I simply need to be myself and bring the best of what I have to offer to my students and my classroom.
The Teacher-To-Be 
I just finished Rafe Esquith’s book and can really identify with the sentiments you are writing about. I had the same feeling when I started reading Jon Spencer’s book. I think its important to remember that we are all different, so what makes each person a good teacher is different too. Maybe Rafe Esquith wouldn’t feel like a good teacher if he didn’t do all the projects he does. I think most people would become overwhelmed by trying to take on these types of projects. I can imagine myself becoming overburdened and then not being a good teacher OR a supportive member of my family.
I admire the strength you show in reflecting on your own situation and the honesty in knowing what will work for you. I think when we read these inspirational teacher books, we can select the things we think might work for us and be willing to give them a try.
I can definitely relate to you in feeling overwhelmed at times at the thought of feeling like we have to be just like these teachers that we read about. It can be stressful! I appreciate and admire how honest you are with yourself in your reflection, it was refreshing to read. I am curious, how do you plan on keeping your personal and professional lives in balance? It is so important to be able to keep the two in check, however (especially in the teaching profession) our professional lives can often take center stage.
I can totally relate to this sentiment that you are talking about. You happen to articulate it very well, by contrasting both the authors and your own feelings. I like what achall28 suggest, we all have something that will make us good teachers, and what we have read is to inspire us. We just have to do what someone suggested to us at the very beginning of our journey together; be a little selfish, and take what you need.